Most parents with strong-willed children have attempted behavior charts at some point. Either on the advice of their pediatrician, teacher, therapist, or a well-meaning friend or relative. The challenge with a traditional behavior chart is that it isn’t very portable. It is secured to the refrigerator, and stays there all week long. If you’re out and about – at the grocery store, an appointment, or playing at the park, you can’t easily give points for good behavior (or subtract points for behavior problems, if that is the way your system works). You can tell your child “Good job! I’m going to give you a star when we get home,” but now you’ve given yourself the task of remembering to put the star on the chart when you get back to the house. And if you’re like most parents, your to-do list is already incredibly long! For my own children, I came up with the idea of a “Behavior Bracelet” as an alternative to Behavior Charts.
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The boys each have their own bracelet, and I have one as well. My bracelet holds charms for each of them. As they earn points, I move a charm from my bracelet to theirs. When we have challenging behaviors, I remove a charm from their bracelet and put it on to mine. This gives them immediate feedback on their behavior. They also get immediate verbal feedback – when they come to me, I tell them exactly why they are getting or losing a charm, and either tell them that I’m proud of them (when they get a charm) or provide options for how they can approach the situation differently.
At the end of the day, we figure the total, and add it to the total from the previous day. When they reach a pre-determined goal, they get their reward.
To make your Behavior Bracelet, you’ll need:
Necklace Chain or Charm Bracelet
Jump rings
Lobster Clasps (choose high quality clasps that are easy for you to operate)
Small metal stamping blanks
Metal Stamping Block
Metal Stamping Hammer
Metal Stamping Numbers (I used Newsprint font, you might like this font better)
Metal Stamped Heart
Jewelry Pliers
- Use the block, hammer, and numbers to stamp a number on each blank. We went up to 5, because my kiddos can earn a maximum of 5 points each day. You pick the number that works best for your family!
- Put a heart on an extra blank.
- Cut the chain to the desired length.
- Attach a lobster clasp to one end with a jump ring. Secure the heart to this jump ring as well.
- Attach a lobster clasp to the top of each numbered blank using a jump ring.
- Make a second bracelet for yourself.
You’ll see that I added a heart, in addition to the numbers. As I gave my kiddos their bracelets, I explained that the heart does not have a clasp – it does not come off. That heart is always there. It represents my love for them. Whether their bracelet is filled with numbers, or all the numbers have been taken off, the heart stays. Because I always love them. No matter what!
I loved how well this behavior bracelet worked! We used it over the summer, wearing it in the pool, and taking it on trips. I regularly saw my boys fidgeting with the bracelet on their wrists – which gave them a simple item to fidget with, but also served as a constant reminder. And both giving and taking away points involved me spending a little time with them, giving them either the praise they deserved, or a break from whatever distraction was causing a problem.
Have you used a behavior management system in your home? Would you try a behavior bracelet?
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